Autonomy Versus Shame And Doubt: What Is A Developmental Crisis

Do you know what is аutonomy versus shame and doubt? Until recently a child was calm, friendly and got along well with his grandmother or his dad while you were going about your own thing. But lately a child has been impossible to recognize. A child hangs in your arms all the time, permanently demands attention and throws tantrums for no reason. You are terrified that this will last forever.l. Don't worry, you're facing your first regulatory age crisis.

What are the advantages, what is a developmental crisis of a child and how to help a child survive this time with use – read the article.

What is developmental crisis autonomy versus shame and doubt

Erik Erikson, a German psychologist, described important stages in the development of children in his works. According to his theory, a person goes through 8 stages of development. Each stage is important for personal development. In this article we will talk about the stage of autonomy versus shame and doubt It starts at the age of a toddler.

Few parents know that the crisis of autonomy versus shame and doubt is a natural process that accompanies a child's transition from infancy to early childhood.A kid grows up and begins to realize himself as an independent person. After the leap in the development of a child, his thinking takes it to a whole new qualitative level. Children begin to walk more confidently, speak clearly and rejoice their parents with new words.

The developmental crisis in children is the first step on the path of separation from their parents. It is very important for a child to live this period correctly. His future character, future decision making, ability to overcome difficulties depend on how successfully he overcomes the crisis

Еrikson's stage of autonomy versus shame and doubt, what do infants begin, will be discussed in the article.

Causes of the beginning of crisis of autonomy versus shame and doubt

The сrisis of Autonomy versus shame and doubt is due to the fact that a child:

• aware of his desires. Separates himself from his mother and notices that their desires do not always coincide;
• understands that while he is a little child and his parents are adults. A child has no access to those things that are available to mom and dad;
• a child grows up, he has new needs that are no longer possible to be satisfied by old methods. But the range of possibilities of a child is still very small;
• starts to walk and talk. The kid wants to be on his own and seeks to explore the world in all possible ways. But at the same time, he regularly encounters prohibitions the reasons for which he does not understand;
• defines the boundaries of what is allowed. With the help of manipulative crying, he tests the strength of social boundaries;
• experiencing a whole range of new feelings. He wants to communicate and share his feelings with others, but cannot yet express his emotions in words.

When does developmental crisis autonomy versus shame and doubt begin

Why are the first 3 years of a child's life so important? Children develop differently. Thus the crisis can befall children at different ages. The first age crisis can begin at 9 months and end at the age of 1,2 years. After comes a short period of calm before the next turbulent phase – the crisis of a year and a half.

All children can face crisis periods. It can pass quickly and almost unnoticeable for some, while for others, this stage of growing up stretches and is full of emotions. The duration and intensity of the first year crisis depends on:

• character and temperament of a child;
• the ability of parents to respond correctly to the behavior of a child;
• parenting style and family relationships.

If parents respect the wishes of a child and are sensitive to his needs, the crisis of autonomy versus shame and doubt may not even be obvious for them.

What are the signs of the first 3 years of a child's life

The first sign of a crisis is the contradictory behavior of a child. He desperately needs parents, constantly asks for hands, but at the same time he wants to actively explore the world. Or he asks for something for a long time, and as soon as he gets it, he throws it on the floor.

Signs of a Developmental Crisis of a child:

1. Increased whimsiness and tearfulness.
2. Tantrums in situations that had never caused such a reaction.
3. Give up favorite food and usual procedures.
4. Aggressive behavior.
5. Fear of losing your mother out of sight, demanding increased attention to himself.
6. Refusal to comply with your regular requests.
7. Loss of skills that a child has acquired earlier (for example, stops walking and begins to crawl again).
8. Abandons adults' care, a wish to do everything on his own (for example, tries to copy the actions of adults or is offended when he is told what to do).
   

Next, we will consider what parents should do so that the crises of autonomy versus shame and doubt of life pass as soon as possible and only benefit the child.

How to help your child overcome developmental crisis

To begin with, familiarize yourself with this psychology of the developmental crisis in a child and accept three truths:

1. This is not your fault. And it's not your child's fault. He suffers the effects of the crisis even more than you do. Right now a child needs your support and care more than usual. Let him feel that he is loved.
2. The crisis is inevitable and necessary for a child. In this way he learns to be independent, to determine the boundaries of what is permitted and to interact with the world.
3. This period is bound to end, and after it comes the stage of calm and stable development. Until the next regulatory age crisis.

Now begin to act.

✓ Educate and encourage independence in your child. Now the conditions are ideal for this, because he himself strives for this. If the moment is missed, then at 3-5 years old it will be more difficult to force a child to perform even simple tasks on his own.

It's time to do something not for a child, but with him. Involve your child in household chores, teach him to hold a spoon, wash his hands before a meal, drink from a cup.

✓ Set boundaries and form bans. They will help you survive the developmental crisis in a child at least without much stress. When creating bans, keep the following in mind:

prohibitions must be unambiguous and have clear logics;

a child must understand what will happen if the prohibition is violated;

prohibitions should be always in effect, regardless of your mood or situation;

the word “no” should sound very rare and indicate a real danger or threat to the life and health of a child;

the fewer bans there are the more seriously a child will treat them;

All family members must follow a common course of action with a child.

✓ Use ways to play. Manifestations of the developmental crisis are easier to survive through gaming activities.Play the show with toys and, use it as an example, show what consequences of violating clear prohibitions can be.

At the time of the crisis of autonomy versus shame and doubt, a child is very attracted to everything new and unusual.

For example:

• plastic plates and glasses;
• jar lids and spoons;
• paper and finger paints;
• eatable play dough;
• children's musical instruments with loud sound.

Give a child a plate of boiled rice or vegetables, put the toys at the table and let him feed them on his own. This is a ready-made plot for a new game, and the development of fine motor skills, and mom's free hands.

Give him a safe space to play. Remove everything valuable, dangerous and fragile higher up, and in the bottom drawers leave something that the child can play with.

✓ Offer alternative solutions. If during the developmental crisis a child demands something that you cannot afford, distract him, persuade him or offer an alternative. For example, a child on a walk is tired of walking on his feet, but at the same time does not want to go in a stroller and asks to pick him up in your arms. Sit next to a child and tell him that you are tired too. Carry a child for a while, and then complain that “the arms and back hurt”, put him down and slowly walk beside him. Try to explain all your prohibitions and do not follow every whim.

 ✓ Develop your child's speech. To name any objects, a child first needs to remember them. Play games with a simple story (feed or bathe a toy, put it to bed or take it outside) and say your actions out loud. So a child will remember these actions not as abstract concepts, but as experienced.

Talk to your child as much as possible during the developmental crisis of the first year of life. Call objects, feelings and emotions by their proper names, using facial expressions, gestures and all your acting potential.

✓ Try to keep the day schedule. Children who walk, eat and sleep according to the regimen are calmer and healthier. But let your regimen be flexible enough. In order to go to bed without problems during the day or have a good lunch, a child should walk up and get hungry by this time.

✓ Introduce your child to peers. But don't force your child to contact them. A child will begin to play and communicate with other children when he is ready.

✓ Be an example. Children tend to copy the behavior of adults. Watch yourself and control your behavior in the presence of your child.

✓ Show your love to your child. Make your child's wishes a priority whenever possible. Hug, kiss, speak in a friendly tone more often, call him affectionately by name. A child is first to know who he is from you. Calling him smart, kind and loved, you create in the child a sense of self-worth and value.

9 things not to do during crisis autonomy versus shame and doubt

1. Do not blame yourself for the fact that a child is naughty and obnoxious.
2. Do not listen to relatives who think that you have spoiled him.
3. Do not make your child eat if he refuses.
4. Do not suppress the manifestation of independence in a child.
5. Do not be nervous, do not shout and do not categorically punish a child physically. He still doesn't understand what he has done wrong.
6. Do not spoil the child and do not indulge his whims. The developmental crisis will come to an end, but the whimsical habit will remain.
7. Do not ignore a child, do not leave in hysterics alone or next to strangers.
8. Do not pressure a child with authority. Do not show that you are right, because you are an adult and in charge.
9. Do not spend all your free time with your child, even if he requires it. Otherwise emotional burnout cannot be avoided and it will make both of you feel worse.
   

When you need to visit a psychologist

It happens that at an early age a child experienced a psychological trauma that you did not notice. For example, a child stayed with the person who scared him, or you did not support him at the right time. Perhaps at this time there was a transfer or other traumatic events.

Contact a psychologist if:

• the child suffers from prolonged incessant tantrums;
• you notice that a child demonstrates different behavior with you and other adults;
• Do you have doubts about your child's development standards?
• There is a lack of coordination in upbringing your family.

The specialist will help to avoid mistakes in times of crisis, as well as give advice on education for the future, when the developmental crisis is over for a child.

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The recommendations from the article will help you survive the crisis of autonomy versus shame and doubt as quickly as possible. But even if you don’t remember everything, take the main advice as a basis: raise your child with love, trust your feelings. Follow a child and be in close contact with him. Thanks to this, you will lay the foundation for the harmonious development of a child and trusting relationships between you in the future.