Co-Sleeping With Baby: Advices For Parents

What is co-sleeping with a baby? In the evening you fall asleep together with your husband, and the three of you wake up in the morning afterwards. A familiar situation, isn’t it? Probably, you are no longer surprised that a child comes to his parents' bed in the middle of the night, because he is scared, bored and feels lonely.

Few people can remain steadfast and send the baby back to his bed. Most move humbly, allowing a baby to get comfortable.

We will tell you what is the danger of co-sleeping with a newborn and how to teach him to sleep separately.

Co-sleeping: what science says

The method of natural parenting is gaining popularity in the world, which destroys the decades-old ideas about raising children. If,for example, classical educators do not consider a child as the centre of the family, where everything is governed by his interests, then the main idea of ​​natural parenting is the priority satisfaction of the emotional and physical needs of a baby.

Bright representatives of the theory of natural parenthood are William and Martha Sears. Their positive experience of raising eight children formed the basis for the series of books on pediatrics. One of the crucial aspects mentioned in almost all works of these authors, is co-sleeping with a baby.

According to the Sears, when a child sleeps with his parents, he literally learns to breathe: his respiratory rate is down, his heartbeat rate becomes even. Sleep is shallow and it stimulates brain development. At the same time, a separately sleeping baby immerses himself into a deep sleep, which is unnatural for him at this age – this is how the protective mechanism of the psyche works when it experiences a strong emotional shock from a feeling of being alone.

This theory was supported by a study by Harvard University psychiatrist Michael Commons. He found that while sleeping with parents safely, babies develop better, they normalise the main body performance indicators (body temperature, blood pressure, heart rate and breathing).

Professor of Pediatrics Nils Bergman (University of Cape Town)carried out a series of studies on newborn sleep and found that the heart muscle of children sleeping separately from their parents is strained 3 times more than the heart muscle of those children who sleep with their parents. This condition threatens to develop cardiovascular system pathologies.

Professor Bergman also found that if a newborn does not sleep next to his mother in the first 4 weeks, his brain develops slower due to the stress provoked by loneliness.

Sleep apnea and respiratory arrest are the most common causes of death in newborns. It’s enough to touch a sleeping baby to make him breathe. The effectiveness of tactile stimulation was taken into account when creating cuves for premature babies. Their moving base imitates the movement of a human chest when breathing. It makes a baby feel that he is lying on a mother's breast. This is the reason the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends installing a baby’s crib (up to 6 months old) in parents’ room to prevent sudden infant death syndromePros And Cons Of Bed Sharing With Baby

What is bed-sharing with infants? When making a decision whether to put a baby next to you, you should be guided not only by your feelings, but also by the consequences of this choice. Let's see if children can share the sleeping room with their parents.

Co-sleeping with infants

Let's take a look at the advantages of co-sleeping:

• Being in tactile contact with parents,a baby feels protected, and therefore sleeps calmly and for a long time. His body is relaxed, the nervous system is in a calm state.
• Parents also feel calm and complete relaxation as their child is here, next to them. You don’t need to check a baby’s breath and see if hi is uncovered or he is awake and hungry.
• When breastfeeding, you do not have to get out of bed. Thus feeding a baby is not the reason to get up for his mother.
• Co-sleeping brings parents and children together. It's a way to show how dear they are. Particularly this is necessary for children who have recently had a brother or a sister and have received half of parental attention since then.

Now see the disadvantages of co-sleeping:

• Sensitive people don't get enough sleep with their baby. If the bed is not wide enough for three people, then everyone who lies on it will feel discomfort.
• The daily routine is disrupted. Children who sleep with their parents often fall asleep later than they should, or parents are forced to go to bed earlier, adjusting to the child's schedule.

Separate sleeping with baby

Advantages of co-sleeping:

• A newborn sleeps alone and becomes more independent and learns to occupy himself. American pediatrician Jay Gordon has been researching this issue for several years. And as a result, he found that babies sleeping separately are more independent, they need a soother, pacifier or finger less than others to calm down. They know how to control their emotions and therefore, in the long run, they learn better and demonstrate good behaviour.
• Parents get enough sleep, so they are active all day, ready to work efficiently and spend time with a baby, and not yawn after dinner.
• Children sleep longer than adults, thus they need to be taken to bed earlier. Thus, mom and dad have a couple of hours of evening time for household chores, relaxation or communication with each other.

Disadvantages of co-sleeping:

• Children of all ages can hardly stand being alone. They are tormented by nightmares, they are afraid of the darkness. If a child is not helped to cope with these emotions, enuresis and other pathologies provoked by stress may develop.
• If a baby sleeps separately from birth, he does not have difficulties in falling asleep and does not have nightmares. But if children are moved out of the parents’ bedroom at the age of 2-5 years, the adaptation period may extend. Parents need a lot of patience to still stand the onset of a baby to return to their bed.

Co-sleeping with a child and the couple's relationship

Another cornerstone of co-sleeping with a baby is the relationship between parents. The physical and spiritual intimacy of a couple is a matter of the two. And when any third person stands between them (even if this is a child), the distance increases. Sometimes it increases so much that a dad goes to another room not to disturb a mom and a baby when they are asleep. With time, the situation may deteriorate to such an extent that the relationship between the two will become formal, and will not be far from a divorce.

In fact, statistics show that 60% of divorces take place in the first year after the birth of a child. Therefore, sacrificing personal relationships for the comfort of a baby, parents must be aware of all the potential risks of co-sleeping.

How to make your child sleep alone

You want to stop co-sleeping with a newborn? If you decide to send your baby to sleep in his room, do it gently and easily. Advice for parents:

• Pick a moment. What age should a child sleep alone? Psychologists recommend moving a child to his crib not later than at the age of 2.5-3.5 years. At this time he is experiencing a crisis of three years, when there is a natural separation from his mother. If earlier a baby considered himself a continuation of his mother, now he is already beginning to realise himself as a separate person, with his own desires and opinions. A kid begins to take the initiative,does things on his own, tests his strength and capabilities. And that’s when the idea of ​​​​sleeping on his own will obviously appeal to him.
• Create a bedtime ritual. Swimming, drinking a glass of yogurt, listening to a mom or dad reading their favourite book, hugging before going to bed – all these should become a nightly ritual for a child.
• Stand firm. If a child comes to you in the middle of the night and says that he is scared or lonely, do not go on about it. Quietly but firmly tell him to go back to his bed. Do not afford weakness or a child will form two bad habits: coming to you every night and ignoring the rules set by parents.
• Buy a night light. If a baby is afraid of the dark, buy him a beautiful night light with a soft, weak light. It will create a semi-gloom, in which it will be more comfortable to sleep, and even if a child wakes up, he will not be afraid of the darkness around.

______________

Even fans of natural parenting understand that you will still have to move a baby out of the parents' bed sooner or later. The most important thing is not to delay it, since long co-sleeping can cause a number of psychological problems. Until what age do children sleep with their parents? The situation in which an 8-year-old always sleeps with his mother can be called pathological without any doubt. Whereas a one-year-old baby in bed with his parents is just a version of normal.