What To Do When Your Child Refuses To Do School Work

Why does a child refuse to do schoolwork? School days can be compared to a work routine: a strict schedule, discipline, and the need to do what you're told instead of what you want to do at the moment... It's no surprise that just the sight of a textbook triggers longing and resistance in a child at home.

What are the reasons for a child's refusal to do schoolwork and what can you do about it?

In fact, there are many reasons why a child doesn't want to learn lessons – from simple fatigue to psychological problems. We'll explore the main ones and provide advice to parents on how to motivate their child to do schoolwork.

1. Laziness

Laziness is a common reason why a child refuses to do schoolwork. Laziness is a broad concept that encompasses many aspects. It includes boredom, disorganization, the lack of a habit of working, and a lack of understanding of the responsibility for one's actions.

It's extremely difficult to determine the exact cause of a child's laziness. However, it ultimately falls on the parents' shoulders. They are the ones who didn't teach their children to handle routine tasks. How can you motivate a child to do schoolwork in this case?

Steps for parents:

• Avoid scolding the child for laziness, as it may create resistance to doing homework.

• Explain that work is what adults do to earn money, while learning is a child's work, and doing "homework" is an essential part of it.

• Involve children in household chores. Assign them manageable tasks and quietly supervise their completion.

• Discuss consequences for laziness. If a child successfully completes their studies, they earn the opportunity to relax, go for a walk, or play games on a computer or smartphone. If not, they lose those privileges.

Also: What To Do When Your Child Refuses To Go To School

2. Fear

Despite ongoing reforms, the modern educational system still employs the same pressure tactics on students as before – bullying, grade-related blackmail, and criticism for poor academic performance.

If parents also scold their children for bad grades at home, anything related to studying gradually becomes a source of stress. In a situation of constant pressure, a child will refuse to do homework. What can you do when your child refuses to do schoolwork in this case?

Steps for parents:

1. Ensure that your child isn't being bullied or blackmailed with grades at school. If a teacher publicly chastises students for mistakes, take action or consider transferring your child to another class.

2. Avoid scolding children for poor grades. There's a reason behind everything, and it's your task to uncover it. Perhaps your child is struggling with the school curriculum and needs a tutor. Maybe they're too shy to answer the teacher's questions, so fostering better communication between them is necessary. Or it could be an attention issue, in which case consultation with a neurologist or psychologist may be beneficial.

3. Seeking attention

Another reason why a child refuses to do schoolwork is to seek attention. Sometimes, a child throws tantrums because they don't want to do their homework alone. They would willingly and quickly complete their homework if mom or dad were involved. Doing homework alone is always time-consuming, challenging, and often accompanied by protests from the child. Why do they behave this way? The answer is simple – they want to attract attention.

A child has already accepted that adults are constantly occupied, but they fail to understand why they're deprived of precious moments of attention. How can you motivate a child to do schoolwork?

Steps for parents:

1. If you've been assisting your child with homework since first grade, abruptly stopping may not be the best approach. Start by letting them handle easy tasks independently, like reading or drawing. Then gradually progress to more complex tasks. The process of transitioning from parental assistance should occur gradually over several months.

2. Just because a child is doing their homework independently doesn't mean you shouldn't pay attention to them throughout the day. On the contrary, if they complete their tasks quickly, they can expect a joint walk in the evening or a family movie night as a reward.

Also: How To Raise a Bilingual Child

4. Lack of understanding of the importance of homework in the educational process

What may seem obvious to us can be unclear to children. Ask any adult why homework is necessary, and they will have an answer. Children, on the other hand, may not be inclined to analyze the purpose of school assignments. They naturally integrate into their environment without questioning "why" and "what for."

But at some point, a child's curious mind may rebel and ask, "Why should I do something at home?" If adults fail to justify homework's importance, children will be reluctant to do it. This may be the reason why a child refuses to do schoolwork.

Steps for parents:

• Explain to your child that homework helps develop a responsible attitude towards learning, organization, and attentiveness.

• Let them know that doing homework provides an opportunity to delve deeper into the subject, find additional information in a calm environment, and understand what they may have missed or misunderstood in class.

5. Selective attitude towards lessons

If a child doesn't want to do certain subjects but enjoys others, it's likely because they're not interested in those particular topics. This creates a conflict: parents and teachers advocate for high academic performance in all subjects, while children want to focus on what they enjoy. What can you do when your child refuses to do schoolwork?

Steps for parents:

• Don't force a child with a humanities-oriented mind to memorize theorems and logarithms. Even if they learn them, they'll likely forget them the next day.

• Avoid expecting a math-minded child to write flowery essays just to earn extra points from an enthusiastic teacher. It's unlikely they will excel in that area.

• Find a balance by allowing them to study their interests in depth while still fulfilling a minimum requirement in other subjects. If you give your child the opportunity to approach education in this format, there will be fewer issues with homework.

6. Self-doubt

Children can become so intimidated by rules and restrictions that they are afraid to do their homework. If a teacher is overly strict, a student may fear making mistakes. Consider this possibility when a child refuses to do schoolwork.

Steps for parents:

• Explain to your child that the teacher's actions reflect their personal perspective, rather than an objective assessment of knowledge. Therefore, all feedback should be considered in the context of the teacher's temperament and mood.

• Avoid fixating on minor mistakes in formatting, corrections, or indentation. Instead, focus on acknowledging the correct completion of tasks.

• Talk to the teacher, share your child's experiences, and kindly request that the teacher be sensitive in their interactions with your child.

Also: 5 Common Bad Habits in Children and how to Break Them: Tips for Parents

7. Lack of motivation

It's challenging to make an unmotivated person do anything. Motivation can be either positive (reward, praise) or negative (punishment, guilt). Let's set aside negative motivation as it won't help cultivate a love for learning in a child. On the contrary, it will lead to complete rejection and protest.

Positive motivation includes praise, support, admiration, engaging leisure activities, gifts, and other forms of rewards. How can you motivate a child to do schoolwork in this case?

Steps for parents:

• Motivate your child to learn using various methods, excluding material incentives. Offering money for good grades isn't the best approach.

• Avoid negative motivation such as blaming or scolding your child for what they haven't learned. Instead, focus on helping them catch up, complete necessary tasks, and improve their grades.

• If positive reinforcement doesn't seem to work and your child still doesn't want to do their homework, there may be an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

8. Bullying

Bullying is a very serious reason why your child may refuse to do schoolwork. If their academic performance has drastically declined, they avoid touching their textbooks at home, and they disregard their homework, it's possible they have become a victim of bullying.

Conflicts with peers or teachers can cause immense stress for a child. School becomes a place where they feel unhappy and uncomfortable, leading to hostility or, in some cases, aggression. Their self-esteem suffers as a result.

Steps for parents:

• When your child adamantly refuses to do school work, recognize that it may be a symptom of more significant problems they are facing. Your goal should be to address the root cause of their behavior rather than force them to complete their homework.

• Take your child's side and offer support. They may be feeling lonely, sad, and upset, so it's important not to pressure them to sit down with their textbooks. Instead, take a walk together in the park, have a dessert at a café, and engage in a meaningful conversation. By creating a safe space, you may discover who is specifically causing harm to your child and discouraging their motivation to learn.

• Investigate the circumstances surrounding the bullying. Refrain from covering up the situation, as it will likely recur. If it's not your child who is currently experiencing bullying, it could happen to other children, so it's crucial to address it.

Also: How To Help Your Child Deal With Bullies At School

Remember, problems with a child's refusal to do schoolwork can be resolved. It requires paying closer attention to your child's needs, interests, and desires while demonstrating parental wisdom. Good luck on this journey!