How to Help Children Cope With Social Anxiety Disorder

Understanding what social anxiety disorder is in children and recognizing its symptoms is crucial. Constant bad moods, fearfulness, sleep disturbances, and frequent crying are all signs of heightened anxiety. It is important to explore the causes of this condition, identify triggering factors, and provide guidance on managing children's anxieties.

What is social anxiety disorder in children

The prevalence of anxiety disorders among children has been increasing in recent years, influenced by various factors such as tense family environments and excessive exposure to the digital world. However, social anxiety disorder in children primarily stems from unmet developmental needs. Infants require a sense of security and constant maternal presence, preschool children may experience heightened anxiety in unfamiliar settings or fear of the dark, and teenagers need trust, respect, recognition of their opinions, and freedom of choice.

Types of social anxiety disorder in children

Social anxiety disorder in children can manifest in two forms:

1. Open: The child consciously experiences specific emotions and demonstrates them through their behavior.

2. Hidden: The child is unaware of their own anxiety. This may present as extreme calmness, lethargy, or even denial of any discomfort.

The second type of a kid’s social anxiety disorder, characterized by "inadequate calmness," is less common. Its main symptom is when a child conceals their anxiety, portraying complete calmness and detachment from the situation.

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Symptoms of anxiety disorders in children

Recognizing the symptoms of social anxiety in children is essential. To help parents assess the situation, here is a small self-diagnostic test. Consider these statements and evaluate their applicability to your child. Pay attention to the severity and chronicity of each symptom. Isolated occurrences may not indicate a problem, but chronic and worsening symptoms suggest an underlying issue.

Signs of increased anxiety in children include:

• Fear of anything new or unknown;

• Tension and overreaction to minor unpleasant events;

• Lack of self-confidence;

• Quick exhaustion;

• Easily distracted and engaged in senseless actions;

• Pessimistic attitude, focusing solely on the negative aspects of people and events;

• Passivity, apathy, and difficulty finding enjoyment in activities;

• Poor response to criticism;

• Feeling guilty even when not objectively at fault;

• Excessively criticizing others for minor mistakes;

• Complaints of negative thoughts and bad dreams;

• Sleep disturbances and difficulty falling asleep;

• Frequent crying;

• Intolerance for waiting (e.g., in queues);

• Avoidance of challenging situations.

Sources and causes of social anxiety disorder in children

Addressing social anxiety disorder in children requires tackling both its symptoms and underlying causes. Even with appropriate and timely psychotherapy, effective results may not be achieved if the child continues to experience stressors. Resolving anxiety-related issues necessitates eliminating the sources of social anxiety disorder in children.

Also: 5 Effective Strategies to Help a Child with Low Self-Esteem

Family

Dysfunctional families often foster anxiety and aggression in children. These children may develop low self-esteem and an intense desire to prove themselves superior to others.

Misalignment between the child's aspirations and the parents' expectations can significantly impact a child's self-esteem, leading to anxiety about not conforming to family traditions.

Parental anxiety can be contagious. When a mother reacts dramatically to any misbehavior, expresses fear, and uses fear to intimidate the child, the child begins to adopt the same mindset.

Strict and overprotective parenting styles, coupled with inflexibility, can make a child feel powerless and controlled. This generates anxiety, inner resistance, and fear.

School

Poor academic performance can create a vicious cycle. Repeated low grades can convince a child that they are incapable of performing well academically, undermining their motivation. If the child also harbors ambitions, the incongruity between their aspirations and actual academic performance intensifies their anxiety.

Parents who devalue knowledge by scolding their child for poor grades shift the purpose of education. When academic achievement becomes merely a tool for gaining parental approval, it can exacerbate social anxiety disorder in children if grades fail to meet expectations.

Friends

While some children interact with peers purely for enjoyment, others form friendships driven by fears and insecurities. The fear of rejection by a specific social group can create dependence on friends and their opinions.

A social anxiety disorder in children may preemptively reject social groups, believing they will face ridicule and misunderstanding. As a result, they avoid social interactions and feel uncomfortable in group settings.

13 tips for parents dealing with social anxiety disorder in children

To address social anxiety disorder in children effectively, it's important not to amplify childhood anxiety as a catastrophic event. By creating an unhealthy emotional atmosphere around the issue, you inadvertently worsen the problem.

However, this doesn't mean you should disregard your child's anxiety altogether. Here is a suggested approach:

• acknowledge the presence of heightened anxiety;

• identify and address the causes and sources of anxiety;

• apply principles of positive parenting to foster a healthy parent-child relationship.

To assist with the latter, consider the following 13 tips. Keep them handy to guide you in adjusting your parenting approach as needed.

1.  Recognize and validate your child's right to experience any emotion, including fear, worry, and anxiety.
2. Stay engaged in your child's life. Inquire about their day, communicate with teachers, and connect with other parents to better understand their behavior and experiences.
3. Teach your child to openly discuss their fears. Encourage them to seek help from you when dealing with emotions and finding solutions.
4. Remind your child that every problem brings not only anxiety but also an opportunity for growth and valuable life lessons.
5. Be attentive and receptive when your child shares their experiences. Avoid dismissing their feelings, and refrain from downplaying the significance of their concerns. Investigate the situation thoroughly before deciding whether to forget about it or take action.
6. Demonstrate empathy for your child's anxieties. Share similar experiences from your own life and describe how you coped with those emotions.
7. Offer support through actions as well as words. If your child feels uncomfortable in unfamiliar environments, hold their hand. If they struggle to make friends, introduce them to the children of your friends. If they fear swimming, accompany them to the pool with an instructor, and so on.
8. Encourage your child to overcome difficulties and solve problems in their life alongside you, rather than taking over entirely. Be a guide and a source of support, empowering them to develop self-confidence and confront their fears.
9. If your child is hesitant to openly discuss their worries, seek alternative ways for them to express themselves, such as through role-playing with dolls or writing an essay.
10. Introduce significant news and major plans gradually, preparing your child and seeking their input. When unexpected events occur, delay sharing the information briefly, at least until you have discussed it with them.
11. Avoid scolding your child for poor academic performance. Instead, motivate them to cultivate knowledge and skills.
12. Foster an optimistic mindset in your child and teach them a straightforward approach to life. Avoid exaggerating your own experiences and refrain from dramatic displays of emotions. Maintain a sense of fortitude during challenging situations, setting the best example for your child.
13. Offer affection, express love, show appreciation, and respect your child. Create an environment where they feel comfortable and secure.

Also: How to Teach Your Children to Control Their Emotions: Understanding and Managing Feelings

How to quickly alleviate social anxiety disorder in children

How can you calm children experiencing social anxiety disorder? Sometimes, immediate relief is necessary before facing anxiety-inducing situations, such as before a performance or a doctor's visit. You can employ the stress relief technique recommended by French teacher M. Borba for this purpose. These simple exercises can help alleviate stress quickly:

1. Encourage your child to use a self-confidence-boosting phrase in stressful situations. Examples include: "This will soon be over," "I am capable of handling this," "I am safe," or "My parents are here to support me."

2. Practice breathing exercises together. Inhale deeply through the nose and exhale quickly through the mouth. Teach your child to alternate between chest and belly breathing. You can also try the elevator breathing technique: after a few deep breaths in and out, close your eyes and imagine being in an elevator going down. Hold your breath during this visualization. When the elevator reaches the desired floor, open your eyes, inhale, and feel the tension decrease.

3. Help your child identify where they feel stress in their body, typically in the neck, head, and jaw. Prompt them to tense and relax these muscles several times.

4. Guide your child in visualizing a safe and calm place where they feel comfortable. For example, if they are anxious about visiting the dentist, encourage them to imagine being on a sunny beach, swimming and sunbathing. Shifting their thoughts to a different location can help them temporarily escape reality and approach the situation with more ease.

In some cases, psychotherapy and medication may be necessary to address childhood anxiety. Don't hesitate to seek professional support. Remember that overcoming social anxiety disorder in children takes time and effort. The reward will be a happier childhood and improved psychological well-being for your child. Good luck!