How to Teach Your Children to Control Their Emotions: Understanding and Managing Feelings

Are you wondering how to help a child control emotions? The ability to control emotions is a key distinction between adults and children. Often, a child is unable to control emotions and feelings due to the immaturity of the nervous system and limited experience in responding to various situations. In this article, we will explore at what age children can control their emotions, why it is challenging for them, and provide three tips for parents on how to teach your child to control emotions.

At What Age Can a Child Control Emotions?

Every parent wishes for their children to experience happiness and avoid negative emotions, but understanding emotions is a gradual process. According to Charles Darwin, emotions are instincts of a higher order that help live beings establish the significance of certain conditions for satisfying their needs. A child's ability to control their emotions typically begins to develop between the ages of 5 and 7 when their nervous system gradually adapts to various stimuli based on their experiences and formed neural connections. Prior to the age of 5, children haven't yet developed the necessary skills that help children manage their emotions.

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Why is a Child Unable to Control Emotions?

Children struggle to control their emotions due to their limited means of communication and expressing their desires or needs. In their earliest months, crying is their primary means of communication. As children grow and start speaking, their limited vocabulary makes it difficult to express themselves effectively, leading them to resort to crying. By the age of 3, typically developing children have acquired basic communication skills, but they may still resort to crying when their needs are not met despite verbal requests. This critical moment determines whether the child reinforces the old method of crying or realizes that it won't accomplish anything. The guidance of parents is essential for the issue of how to help a child manage emotions.

3 Tips for Parents on How to Teach Your Child to Control Emotions

1. Teach Them to Follow Rules:

Instilling a sense of structure and following rules is valuable to help a child manage their emotions. Explain the purpose of various rules and routines, such as the importance of morning exercises to wake up and energize the body or why toys cannot be taken from preschool or kindergarten. By explaining the reasons behind rules, you help your child understand that their immediate desires may sometimes conflict with established guidelines, fostering a mindset of self-control.

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2. Show Care and Support:

Providing care and support during teaching a child to control emotions is crucial. Avoid yelling or demanding immediate silence when a child cries. Instead, observe the situation and offer a comforting hug. Engage in conversation and help them understand your words. Let them know that you acknowledge their feelings, but cannot fulfill their desires at that particular moment. This is when your child needs care and love the most.

3. Foster Emotional Intelligence:

Developing emotional intelligence is a powerful tool to help a child manage emotions effectively. Emotional intelligence involves recognizing and empathizing with others' emotions, which evolves alongside a child's own emotional expression. Various resources, such as books, videos, interactive games, and self-study manuals, can help enhance emotional intelligence. Enrolling in courses or classes specifically designed for children can also provide guidance in understanding emotions.

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Helping children learn to control their emotions is a gradual process that requires patience and understanding. Children's nervous systems are still developing, and emotional self-control is acquired gradually over time. By teaching them to follow rules, providing care and support during emotional moments, and fostering their emotional intelligence, parents can lay the foundation for their child's emotional well-being and self-control. Remember, leading by example is the most powerful tool in teaching children how to effectively manage their emotions.