First Love: What To Do If Your Child Has a Crush

First love usually happens during adolescence. Of course, if you do not take into account kindergarten loves. A real, very adult, but very special feeling falls within the the period of puberty.

Yesterday's child, tormented by hormonal storms and the difficulties of puberty, begins to experience an increased interest in the opposite sex. This interest is not to all representatives of the opposite sex, but to one single person. How should parents respond to their child's first love? To step back or help with advice if the relationship does not work? What is the most common crush age? How to answer difficult questions and do no harm? What is the normal age to have a crush? In this article, we will give some tips for parents.

What is the first love

A child’s first love makes adults smile, evokes tenderness and pleasant memories. But not everything is so smooth in a child’s heart. The first love of children is a mandatory stage of personal development. The atmosphere in which it comes in has a crucial meaning on how a teenager will develop relationships with the opposite sex in the future, how long this feeling will last, whether it will be positive or traumatic.

What to do if your child has a crush

What is the love crush for a child? Can a child fall in love? These questions concern parents. Children are very sensitive to any kind of attention to this area of life. They do not like direct questions, they prefer to hide the origin of relationships. It is important for them to preserve the sanctity of their microworld, in which there is only room for two.

Any attempts to stir a teenager and call him on a frank conversation will only cause irritation and a wish to quickly retreat in order to drop this topic. In the future, the child will try to make sure that no one is aware of his feelings.

A child experiences ridicule and teasing more painfully from others. This feeling is huge for him and eternal for sure. He's sure it will last forever. Convincing him otherwise devaluating his emotions is like committing a crime.

In literature, first love is described by thousands of epithets and metaphors. Together with Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, we experienced the tragedy of their uneasy relationship.

We seem to know all about youthful feelings and worries. But despite this, we are completely unprepared for the fact that such an avalanche of emotions engulfs our own child.

Parents are understandable: one thing is to remember your own youth, where everything went the way it went. Another thing is to face the unknown: how the child will experience his first love and what to do if it turns out to be unhappy.

Your anxiety is absolutely meaningless in this situation. After all, it is unlikely that you will be able to influence the situation and direct the development of the relations. A much more productive approach is to focus on your relationship with your child. If they are trustful and close, you will be able to support and help him, suggest and comfort him in an emergency.

Be aware of the extremes. Too close attention to the child during the period when the child is in love is not better than completely ignoring or ridiculing this fact. Become an invisible witness and interfere only when you are asked to.

What to do when your teenager falls in love

What does teenage love feel like? Let's look at a few typical situations that can happen to your child during the period of first love. We have some tips for parents. Psychologists advise the following.

So, what to do if a teenager...

...started talking about his relationship.

Show interest in the conversation, ask open-ended questions, suggest talking about the dear one. If you go too far with curiosity, the child will stop you – try not to push. It is better to leave this topic for some time so that later you can return to it again and find out everything that interests you.

...asks for advice on what to do.

Do not rush to give and especially to impose direct advice, and also control their fulfillment afterwards. Even if you were allowed into this super-restricted area, do not abuse your trust. You can just think with your child about what сourses of action are possible in a particular case. From the height of your experience, you will outline many more ways to solve a love problem than a child can think of. And he will be grateful for your help. Child's first love is important!

....complained about unrequited love.

Hug, be supportive, comfort. Cheer up, turn your attention to something else. Go on a trip, buy a kilo of ice cream and eat it together. Go shopping. Do everything to ease the heat on the situation. And then, with a sober head, think together about what you can do. If there is no chance to attract the attention of a dear one, teach how to deal with feelings in case of unrequited love. Perhaps you have experienced this – tell about it. The child will appreciate your sincerity and will understand that he is not alone in his suffering.

...asks for help to end the relationship.

We are used to consider young boys and girls love stories as something of an air-marshmallow, completely harmless. But life shows that some may not go down in history andt get into trouble. A trusting teenager has a chance of being addicted to a bad person. Both a girl and a guy. And even if they keep their eyes wide open it can be difficult to get out of this relationship. A sincere conversation and straightforward advice on what to do will help here.

How to handle your child's first crush

How to help a child who has a first crush? What other tips are there? Observe the behavior of a child who has a first-ever relationship. Did they have any impact on him? If there are no visible changes, you can be calm. Changes for the better (higher responsibility, discipline, seriousness) should only please you.

But if you begin to notice that you literally do not recognize your child (he has become withdrawn, rude, does not help around the house, gets irritated for any reason, etc.), do not hesitate to take action.

1. Negative impact on a teenager

Check for signs of alcohol or drug use? Child's very suggestible, a child can be influenced and do it not even of his own free will, but because his “half” does it. An alarm bell is a total change in the circle of friends and hobbies. Sometimes attitudes, views, tastes change. Such dramatic metamorphoses indicate a significant effect on your child. You should make sure that this is an effect with a "+" sign, and not a "-".

Before you take action and set ultimatums, try to talk.

Say that you don't like what's going on, that you're worried. Ask probing questions: “I do not often see you with a book? Shall I bring something interesting for you?”, “Yesterday I saw your friends in the park, why were you not with them?” etc.

If the child does not make contact, try a more direct approach by telling him about your suspicions and asking for an explanation. But refrain from blackmail, threats.

They won't help anyway. Explain that the action you want to take is not to suppress the rights of your son or daughter, but to ensure their safety. This is an important point that should be emphasized.

2. Sexual pressure

Another reason to interfere is sexual pressure on the child. Most often this happens with girls. If a guy wants to move from kissing to a full adult relationship, and your daughter is unsure if she needs it, explain that it's up to her to decide. No one has the right to induce other people to intimacy, and a guy who promises to quit if he fails is committing a crime not just meanness.

*****

A child faced with the first strong feeling in his life, feels lonely and shaky like staying on a drifting ice. Your task is to become a rescue boat that follows the young traveler inseparably and is always ready to help.