How To Deal With Teenage Daughter: Tips For Parents

How to deal with a teenage daughter? She was a sweet and sociable girl just yesterday, and today she is a lively “thorn”, disrespectful, testing her parents of toughness. Even if your panic increases and you get upset with the onset of your daughter's adolescence – stay strong as there is a way out. The knowledge of the processes that happen to her and how to raise a teenage girl will enhance your composure.

This article is a kind of a parent's guide, we will analyze how a tween daughter grows and develops from the age of 10 to 15 years old as well as the main mistakes in raising teen girls that parents make in relation to their daughters and how to understand your teenage daughter.

Why are teenage daughters so difficult: moral changes

Why are teenage daughters so difficult? According to neuroscience research, the brain of a young child is very plastic. This allows the baby to adapt quickly to the environment, to grow and develop fast. The brain plasticity decreases with every year, but in adolescence (in preteens from the age of 10 to 15 years old) it is still quite high. This period is the last opportunity to create new and strengthen the existing neural pathways that determine the rest of a person’s life.

What will be laid at this time in a tween daughter will remain with her forever. This is the reason why the environment the child grows up in is of key importance as well as the principles and norms of conduct which are instilled in a teenage girl.

When raising a teen girls, it is totally important to give the right self-concept that will guide her throughout her life. These are the principles of independence, self-respect, emotional intelligence basis, sound self-esteem, ambition, etc.

Tween girls: physical changes

How to understand your tween daughter? F. Dolto wrote in her book“On the side of a teenager”: “We can say that we are born twice: the first time to exist, the second time to live; the first time we find ourselves in space, the second time we find sex. Girls are surprised to see the metamorphoses that happen with their bodies. The body grows fast, the face loses its usual childishness, cheekbones stand out, the chin and lips have clearer contours.

Breasts begin to grow. This process is painful both from a physiological and psychological point of view. Prepubescent daughters even tend to wear baggy clothes to hide their growing breasts. Any touch to it causes discomfort, the child slouches and becomes irritable. To reduce the discomfort it is very important to choose the right teenage underwear made of soft fabric without seams.

Menarche – first menstruation

The development of a teen girls at the age of 11-12 is very peculiar. This is the time of the first menstruation. A mother’s task is to prepare her daughter for this event. Tell your daughter why it happens and how to maintain hygiene during menstruation. If in the first days of menstruation the child feels severe pain in the abdomen, the gynecologist will select safe painkillers.

Hair growth

Under the influence of sex hormones, hair appears on the legs, in the the armpits, in the inguinal area. This is another reason for complexes to develop. Any persuasion will be of no use – the girl will really suffer, will be ashamed of her appearance until she masters safe and affordable ways to deal with unwanted hair at this age. There are two of them – a razor and a depilatory cream. Parents should not make fun of the child's uneasiness during this difficult period or forbid her to take basic body care.

Teenage girl: emotional and mental scope

The emotions of a prepubescent daughter depend on a number of factors. Hormonal storms increase stress levels. And it provokes irritability. Changes in the body develop the complexes that lead to isolation. There is akeen desire to match peers and search for sexual identity.

Amid this there is a growing need to define gender norms. Girls ask questions: “Who am I?”, “What is my role in society?”, “What can I do and what is unacceptable/prohibited”.

Going from one extreme to the other is the characteristic of the late teenage period – from 14 to 16 years. Girls study the boundaries, test themselves and their parents for strength. They are anxious, suspicious and riot with or without a course.

There is a risk of emotional and behavioral disorders. Girls often develop an eating disorder. The imposed stereotypical images of Instagram beauties make a teenage girl refuse food or go to the other extreme – eat unhealthy food in large quantities.

Raising a teenage daughter: evaluating one’s own appearance

What else is difficult in tween daughter parenting? Doubts about one's own attractiveness is a typical teenage girls' problem. Any deficiency in appearance, objective or imagined becomes a source of complexes. Regardless of the natural daughter’s appearance her parents should assure and make her believe that she is the most beautiful. And in no case make fun of any imperfections. Any feature of appearance should be regarded as a zest, a feature of personal charm.

A mother, older sister or girlfriend becomes a guide to the world of beauty and fashion.

She tells how to use makeup, choose beautiful and up-to-date t outfits and accessories. It is important to impart the skills to take care of herself, play sports, eat properly, and maintain hygiene. This is an important aspect of raising teen girls. Empathy and support is very important for a child.

Teen girls: relationship with the opposite sex

Due to the development imbalance of girls and boys of the same age, girls are often focused on older guys. Older boys are more developed physically and psychologically, it is interesting and enjoyable to have time with them. The girl is willing to do anything to attract the attention of the object of her sympathy. Sometimes the girl is ready for even not quite sound actions. Defiant behavior, makeup, sometimes elaborate, revealing outfits are common tools to attract the attention of a boy.

In groups of girls, tension increases due to competition between friends who do not share one guy.

Intrigues and gossip show up. How to raise a teenage girl in such a period? Parents should teach their daughter to behave correctly in such situations: not give into provocations, not to encourage bullying, and be sure to tell if bullying happens to her.

First love: the psychology of teenage girls

Short-term romantic hobbies (fleeting sympathies) develop into a desire to find true love. If earlier the objects of passion could be changed three times a week by the age of 15-16 years, the girl already has more conscious attitude to the object of her choice. The psychology of teen girls in this situation is such that her emotional attachment is so strong that it absorbs all her thoughts and feelings. In the literal sense only HE exists for her. Parents, girlfriends and school remain somewhere in the background.

Romantic relationships inspire the girl to be creative. She writes poems and stories, composes music, draws pictures. Her works are still childishly imperfect, but they carry a powerful energy. So the girl realizes her inner potential she gets when being love.

The vulnerability and tenderness of the first feelings is something that needs to be protected and respected first of all by a girl’s parents. If they forbid her to see her beloved one, you should be prepared for rebellion, depression, tantrums, leaving home and, in difficult cases, suicide attempts.

How to deal with a teenage daughter: father’s and mother's roles in upbringing

How to deal with a teenage daughter? The relationship of a teenage girl with her mother and father at this age can be difficult. Parents should treat the child with attention and patience.

Relationship with father

How to deal with teenage daughter attitude to father? It may seem a paradox, but the father is the one who influences his daughter femininity constitution. Watching him, the girl notices their differences and understands that she is not like her dad. From her mother, she draws behavior models, and from her father the ability to apply them in different situations. A father instills the basic men patterns, as well as the principles of harmonious coexistence of a woman and a man in a family. He is the indisputable authority, support and protection.

If a girl is unlucky with her father (for example, he leads a destructive lifestyle), there is a risk that she will subconsciously seek for such type of man in the future.

A bunch of negative attitudes received in adolescence will leave an imprint on her future life. Therefore, it is very important that a girl has a positive example of a man. It may not be by a father, it can be a stepfather, older brother, uncle or grandfather.

Relationship with mother

How can a mother parent a teen girl? Mom is an absolutely almighty person for a girl. They are of the same gender, which means they have a common interest. Their friendship is built on this basis. If a wise mother “turns off” her authoritarianism or overprotection in time, this harmonious union will last a lifetime.

Competition may be the grounds for conflict. A daughter may be jealous of her father for her mother, they are struggling for his attention. And mothers can unconsciously envy the beauty and youth of their daughters. There are other extremes – the desire of the mother to bind the child to herself or,on the contrary, to push the child away early and send her to free float.

Parenting teen daughter: peculiarities

Many of the difficulties of the transition period can be avoided if you know the specifics of girls' upbringing. Review the main problems and ways to solve them.

Excessive strictness

The costs of strict parenting are not difficult to predict. This is the lack of self-confidence of the child, and the belief that a good attitude must be deserved. The complex of an excellent student (pathological diligence), the victim complex, the inferiority complex are the consequences of this attitude.

A girl deprived of unconditional parental love will become an easy victim for a rogue who will imitate this feeling and take advantage of her credulity.

Requiring good marks

The girl needs to be taught what is useful to her in life. However, the modern school system is not particularly effective in this regard. Children are “stuffed” with unnecessary theories, and important things are left behind.

You should not ridicule oa teen girls for failing an exam or for bad marks. Thus you kill her self-esteem and provoke stress. It is better to focus on what is not taught in school:

• how to build relationships with friends and loved ones;
• how to take care of yourself;
• how to find a favorite hobby or decide on a future profession;
• how to ensure your safety, etc.

Lack of personal space

Parents may be offended by the fact that the daughter is increasingly striving to spend time not with them. But do not try to find the reason in yourself. A teenager wants to become more independent, to prove her adulthood to people surrounding her.

If the daughter locks herself in the room more and more often, goes for a walk with a friend instead of the family get-togethers, prefers being alone, you should not interfere with her.

Ask if everything is alright, try to be aware of her problems. But do not overstep the boundaries you are not allowed.

Lack of affection

There are people who believe that you need to show your love not with words, but with actions. Or you should not show it at all, as if this is already clear. However, in relation to a teen girls, such a position is totally wrong. Parental love, a kind word, affection and attention are vital things for a child.

Talk about your feelings, show how dear and important your daughter is to you. Let her know that she can count on your attention and protection when she needs it.

Presence of taboo topics

Teenagers prefer not to talk to their parents about alcohol, drugs, sex, pregnancy, etc. They discuss these topics with friends or search for information on Google. But if you allow taboo issues to exist, you lose control over the answers your child will get.

You should speak very caucious and openly about sexual relations with girls, talk about the consequencies  of unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancies. A confidential conversation on alcohol and drugs will help you find out your daughter's attitude towards these things and convey their destructive influence.

*****

Raising a teenage daughter is a hardway of trials and errors. You educate and you are being educated. The main thing is to be able to admit your mistakes and never break. Listen to your child and trust him.