How to praise a child with words: 10 Ways

Why is it important to praise a child? In today's world, motivation, encouragement, and gentle stimulation techniques for productive activities are relevant. They all revolve around providing outward approval of a child's actions and efforts, showing appreciation, and expressing praise.

From this, we can understand that praise can be given just for the sake of it, but it can also have an educational purpose. If you want to learn how to praise a child with words effectively, continue reading this article.

Why do children need praise?

Praising is important for both teenagers and toddlers because it contributes to their motivation for further activities. Why do parents sometimes hold back from praising their child for their achievements or good behavior?

Most likely, they are afraid of overpraising the child, thinking it may inflate their self-esteem and make them arrogant. However, psychologists fundamentally disagree with this approach, arguing that it is impossible to overpraise a child.

A child is highly dependent on their parents for approval of their actions. They determine whether the child has done well or poorly based on their reaction.

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Feedback from loved ones helps children understand their positive and negative traits. If praise is scarce, the child grows up feeling insecure. They constantly question whether they did the right thing or could have done better. This leads to self-reflection on their role in society, wondering if they are a good or bad person, and whether they are loved or not. They start comparing themselves to other children, evaluating if they are better or worse.

We may not even realize how many of these questions can be answered through simple praise. When praise is given, children naturally receive answers to these questions, even without explicitly asking them. On the other hand, the absence of praise, especially in the presence of constant criticism, creates unfavorable conditions for a child's normal development. So, how should you praise your child?

How to praise a child effectively

Praising a child is undoubtedly beneficial, but it is crucial to choose the right words to praise a child. Often, parents tell their children, "You're the best," which is not always objective. By creating a child's belief that they are the best, we can damage their self-image. They will believe they are the best, and when situations arise where they are not, an internal conflict arises – "I am the best. Why can't I succeed?" This leads to disappointment in oneself, a loss of confidence, and feelings of depression and apathy.

Throughout life, your child will not always be the first, the smartest, or the most successful compared to others. The ability to cope with this feeling is instilled in childhood, and if it is not part of their character, they may become prone to depression.

For all parents, their children are the best in everything. If you want to praise your child in this way, be sure to specify, "to me."

- You are the most beautiful to me!

Instead of:

- You are the most beautiful!

However, it is better to completely avoid using the word "most" when praising your child. Also, refrain from comparing them to other children, except in situations where it serves as motivation to improve their own results. There are other effective ways to praise a child.

How to praise a child with words: 10 tips

There are various ways to express praise to children. Now that we understand that praise is an unquestionably necessary and helpful tool for upbringing, let's discuss how to effectively praise a child. Here are 10 tips for parents:

1. "You washed the dishes so well, cleaned the glasses, and even took out the garbage. Good job!"

Praise your child as soon as you notice they have done something good or useful. However, avoid rushing with compliments. Take the time to evaluate the result, inquire about the details, and engage in a discussion with your child. Let them perceive your genuine interest and understand that your praise is not just perfunctory, but that you genuinely appreciate their efforts. Avoid postponing praise for a more opportune moment, as the impact will diminish.

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2. "You're learning to play the piano so quickly. Every day, you're getting better!"

When praising your child, emphasize their efforts rather than solely focusing on their natural talent. If a child has inherent abilities, completing assigned tasks may come easily to them, and praising them for it becomes unnecessary. However, when they work hard to overcome inexperience or lack of skills, that's when their diligence deserves recognition, regardless of the outcome.

3. "That sparring session was a success. You were five points ahead of your opponent."

While praising a child, avoid indulging in flattery, as children can detect insincerity. Regardless of your noble intentions, any falsehood devalues your other words and reactions in the eyes of the child, eroding their trust in your praise. 

4. "Good essay! Your metaphor about autumn was unique and vivid, and I particularly enjoyed the quote at the end."

To make your child's praise sincere, strive to be specific. Instead of saying you liked everything and that the child is overall intelligent, focus on praising specific aspects that make you genuinely proud. By doing so, you highlight their accomplishments and provide meaningful feedback.

5. "Thank you for helping my aunt find her bag."

Praise your child for every small act, even if challenging circumstances arise simultaneously. Avoid mixing praising a child with criticism. Instead, separate them in time so that your child clearly understands where they excelled and where they can improve.

6. "What a beautiful leaf owl! It's very creative."

When praising your child, avoid comparing them to other children. Although you may believe this fosters healthy competition, it can actually lead to self-doubt and feelings of inferiority. Comparisons can make them feel less capable or worthy compared to the child being held up as an example.

7. "You're such a great help to your mother. You bring me so much joy! Come here, let me hug you!"

When offering to praise a child, use a calm and gentle tone of voice. Ensure that your facial expressions match your words. Show affection by hugging your child and patting their shoulder or cheek, making them feel cherished. While your words of praise for a child may fade with time, the emotions they experience during the interaction will remain with them for a long while.

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8. "You recited poems beautifully during the literary evening."

Avoid bringing up past mistakes when praising a child. Let those moments stay in the past. If your child has made improvements, it's time to leave history behind and focus on acknowledging their present achievements.

9. "What a magnificent Lego castle you built!"

Refrain from making predictions when praising your child. Although you may envision your child becoming a great artist or musician, they will ultimately choose their path. Intentionally steering them in a direction of your choosing can lead to confusion, resistance, and even estrangement.

10. "You have such a radiant smile, like the sun. It lights up the room!"

To uplift your child's spirits, offer praise without a specific reason. Give them a sincere smile and assure them that their loving parents are always by their side.

We have discussed different ways to praise a child with words. Praise acts as a form of medicine, essential for cultivating a healthy and well-rounded individual. However, it must be administered appropriately, with the right dosage and composition. Ultimately, trust your heart when praising your children because, in this matter, it is better to "over-" than.