Why are Kids So Annoying

Is it normal to find your child annoying? One of the most frightening thoughts that comes into the mind of a parent is that my child annoys me. Admitting this fact, adults feel uneasiness and parental guilt.

But is it worth to be beashamed of your irritation? When and why does it happen, and how to deal with it? Let's see the reasons why kids are so annoying.

Why are children so annoying

Why are children so annoying? Let's talk about it from the physiological point. If we consider our body as an integral system, then it is obvious that its vitality is provided by a complex of signals. When the skin surface temperature drops – we are cold and need to get dressed. Hunger signals that we need to eat. Drowsiness calls for rest.

The signaling system also includes emotions. When we are scared we need to run. Annoying kids feel sad and need to cry. It's the same with irritation. This is the signal to satisfy a certain need:

• relax;
• to stay alone;
• focus on what matters.

Irritation accumulates when a certain need is ignored. Other emotions emerge such as sadness, anger, aggression. Thus a wise human organism makes us understand that we should not forget about ourselves and our interests.

Irritation as a defensive reaction

Why are kids so annoying? Irritation is quite useful as it helps parents to bring up a self-dependent kid. If there is no such emotion, the mother would always stay with a baby and give him everything he demands. In fact people have lots of other things to do apart from nursing annoying children. And in order to do them, you need to set boundaries between the demands of annoying kids and parents’ abilities.

• "Let's go for a walk in the evening, I'm busy now."
• "I'll read you a story when I wash the dishes."
• "Play it yourself, a friend has come to see me."

Any restrictions are followed by irritation, it's an exhausting age to parent: a 6-year-old does not make a bed, the mother gets mad about the mess, she wants to teach the kid to do household chores. Thus the consistent pattern looks like: reason → irritation → searching for a way out of the situation.

Strictness and firmness margins

Another useful irritation feature helps adults to acquire such qualities as strictness and firmness which are necessary for proper parenthood.

No matter how much we love our annoying children, sometimes we need to be a little tough in order to issue instructions or set behavioral boundaries. We can say that irritability does not allow our annoying kids to get inside our heads.

Why my child annoys me all the time

Parents are afraid to say: my child annoys me all the time! People's extremely low awareness of their emotions’ nature leads to the fact that parents (especially mothers) feel guilty for being irritated by her own kid.

But don't blame yourself, and below are the reasons why:

• Irritation is a mark that indicates that something in your life is not going in accordance with your plan.
• Every person gets irritated sometimes.
• It is not necessary to reproach yourself for irritability, it is better to think what was the reason.
• An effective way to get rid of guilt is to exclude the cause of irritation.

Yes, it's normal to find your childrens annoying you

Own children, our dear and blessing. Is this normal? Why are kids so annoying? Psychologists are unanimous: yes, this is absolutely normal. Let's sort out the reasons why children can annoy their parents:

1. Motherhood is not sugar.

Mom complains: my child is very annoying! What to do? Dreams of happy motherhood inspire: of course, our children will be the most beautiful, smart and obedient. We will spend a lot of time with them, but we won’t forget about ourselves either – after all, there is a lot of free time on the decree. These fantasies are extremely painfully vanished as soon as a kid is born. It appears that there is no time or energy left for yourself. As the result feelings of resentment of unfulfilled expectations arise. 

2. Parental burnout.

This is particularly true for families with two or more annoying children. When everything happens for the first time, the thrill of fresh experience gives a certain boost of energy. And the second, the third child, although no less loved, wears the parents out even more. Burnout comes from both physical and emotional fatigue. The nervous system is already exhausted, and there is less and less energy left. An older kid irritates most often, but sometimes younger kids take the heat.

3. Gender imbalance.

Often caring for a baby mainly lies with a mother. For the first months she lives in a groundhog day mode, experiencing acute discomfort due to the need to be with her child on a permanent basis. A father leaves for work in the morning, and can afford beer with friends in the evening. A woman's internal protest turns into irritation, then not only her husband, but also an innocent newborn kid gets in the middle.

4. Life turned upside down.

A woman led an active, eventful life before pregnancy. And after giving birth, she is forced to sit talking to four walls and make orders for diapers onlineSuch drastic changes do not pass without a trace for the psyche. Irritation weakens when the decree comes to an end : a child from 3-4 years old already goes to kindergarten steadily, and mom can go to work.

5. Unjustified investments.

Some people consider their children as a project to satisfy parental ambitions. But sometimes investments of energy, nerves and money do not bring the expected result. The kid grows up quite ordinary: he fools around, does not demonstrate particular talents, does not give a reason to brag to their friends. The project fails, disappointment reveals followed by irritation.

6. Inability to balance attention between annoying children.

Women after childbirth can be annoyed by an older kid. He does everything in a wrong way– inappropriately and wrong. Ignores or, on the contrary, shows too much interest in the baby. He is loud when you need to sit quietly while the baby is sleeping. Ignorant when mom asks to bring something. An irritable tone eventually becomes a norm of a while communicating with an older child.

7. Electra complex.

Fighting for a father attention, a daughter may unwittingly overshadow her mother. Such an attitude causes confusion and even irritation in a woman: how can an 8-year-old kid do this?

It’s a little different with sons: men see more weaknesses in them than in daughters. They are not afraid to talk about them. Boys protest in response to criticism: they behave badly, disrespect their fathers, which causes irritation.

8. A baby looks like a mother-in-law.

A baby looks like a husband, or a not very beloved grandfather. The point is that children often copy behavior and may have similar appearance with those adults who do not bring positive emotions. This also enrages because it is impossible to influence their similarity.

What to do when you find your child annoying

How to deal with annoying kids? Action plan depends on the reason for the irritation. Therefore, the first piece of advice is to figure out what caused this emotion. To do this mentally fix the cases when and what exactly annoys you. Don't be afraid to admit that, "My baby is pissing me off." But this phrase should always be followed by an explanation "the reason is..."

If you have successfully passed the stages of awareness and acceptance of your irritability, have ceased to feel guilty for it, proceed to action.

1. Seek the assistance from your husband, parents or babysitter if the cause of irritation is just a lack of time for yourself. If there are no relatives nearby, the husband slaving away at work, and there is no money for a nanny, optimize your life. Read about the principles of time management for young mothers and the fly lady system. Your task is to find time for rest and personal stuff.
2. Discard the far-fetched beauty standards and criteria for the intellectual development of children. If your child is annoying not by his behavior, but by the way his nature is, then the problem is definitely not in him.
3. Find an outlet that will help to stay busy and relieve your mind. s. Literally an hour of embroidery or drawing will help to distract attention and calm down.
4. According to studies, 80% of women in labor experience postpartum blues, when everything is annoying and nothing is of any interest. Thus situations when your newborn child makes you mad are not so rare. It is important not to fall into this state and restore peace in your mind as soon as possible.
5. If you are annoyed by a baby for a long time, consult a specialist. Perhaps the postpartum blues has turned into depression. This condition responds well to therapy, but it is extremely dangerous for mom and baby if no action is taken.
6. In moments when everyone around you including your own child annoys you, do not hesitate to ask for a time-out. This is just a period of time of an hour or two for you personally, when none of the household disturbs you. Take a bath, listen to music, or just take a nap – your mood will improve a lot.
7. If you have lashed out and yelled at your kid, you should definitely apologize. Genuine remorse will help to end your conflict and will become a good example for your daughter or son: mistakes can and should be corrected.

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Why is my kid so annoying? Psychologists consider irritability not a personality trait, but an evidence of internal discomfort. This means that this emotion should not be attributed to character traits. If you get irritated too often, then this is not a reason to mark yourself as a furious mother. It is better to audit your life and make changes in it.