4 Signs Your Child Is Manipulating You & 6 Ways To Deal With Them

What are the signs that your child is manipulating you, and what can you do about it? Why does child manipulative behavior occur? Psychologists believe that individuals learn to manipulate from an early age, starting with simple actions like crying and screaming, and gradually refining these tactics throughout their lives.

Let's not forget that parents are a child's primary teachers. Even if mom and dad try not to employ such techniques in parenting, there's no guarantee that the child won't become a child of manipulative behavior. They can learn this behavior from others.

It is crucial for parents to identify a child's manipulative behavior as soon as possible and know how to respond effectively. To learn how to deal with a manipulative child and avoid negative consequences, read on.

When your child is manipulative

Children's manipulation involves attempting to influence loved ones in order to get what they want. How can you tell when your child is manipulative and what can you do to prevent it?

Reasons, why a child may manipulate their parents, include:

• They don't know how to cooperate on an equal basis.

• They want to appear more mature and demonstrate their importance.

• They want to have a foolproof method to always get what they desire.

These signs can be easily recognized. The key is not to mistake it for attention deficit. If a child falls down and waits to be picked up, refuses to tidy up toys without a reward, or insists on having whims fulfilled, it's not necessarily a sign of child manipulative behavior.

Also: 5 Common Bad Habits in Children and how to Break Them: Tips for Parents

To win their parents' favor, cunning children devise sophisticated strategies. They may resort to flattery or use the "if-then" method. The child often repeats the same situation, using the same words, gestures, and facial expressions. Parents may constantly feel cornered by their child's actions. Every time, from a minor issue like putting on jeans or going to kindergarten to packing a backpack for school, the child turns it into a full-blown performance that is repeated daily. All of this constitutes manipulation, as the child attempts to establish control.

Four signs your child is manipulating you

Let’s talk about the signs your child is manipulating you. Manipulative behavior can be observed at any age, and children often employ the following methods:

1. Hysterics

Frequent tantrums are a clear sign of manipulative behavior. The child seeks attention through hysteria and disruptive behavior: running around the room, throwing toys, crying, and even throwing themselves on the floor. If this occurs in a public place like a store, parents may feel pressured to give in to the child's demands as quickly as possible to halt the tantrum.

2. Deliberate Distraction and Helplessness

The child constantly "forgets" to do things like tying shoelaces, buttoning up a jacket, or leaving behind essential items such as notebooks or a hat. Parents may become concerned about their child's disorganization, while the child revels in the attention they receive.

3. Feigning Symptoms

This method can be employed at any age. Once a mother has witnessed a rash or feverish reaction, the child remembers it and exploits it for their own benefit. They may complain of a stomach ache to avoid going to kindergarten or pretend to have a headache to skip school. Parents may feel sympathy and believe them.

4. Flattery

Children manipulate their parents by showering them with compliments for no apparent reason. They express how much they love their parents and how fortunate they are to have them. These compliments are often followed by a request that they would not normally receive. While harmless, it's important for parents to resist falling for this tactic.

Also: What To Do When Your Child Refuses To Go To School

How to deal with a manipulative child: 6 tips

Let's explore strategies on how to deal with a manipulative child. If you notice that your child has started exhibiting child manipulative behavior, it's time to take action. Knowing how to respond can influence your child's behavior and guide them in the right direction. Here are several approaches to help you raise your child effectively:

1. Spend quality time with your child: 

Actively engage in your child's life, show interest in their thoughts and emotions, play with them, and assist with their homework. By doing so, you become a positive role model for your child, and they will consistently feel loved and supported by you. Consequently, they are less likely to resort to manipulation to get their way.

2. Respect your child's opinions: 

Communicate with your child as equals and attentively listen to their point of view. They should understand that you value and respect their opinions. This approach reduces child manipulative behavior. If you need to decline a request, always provide a clear explanation for your decision.

3. Demonstrate confidence: 

Set clear boundaries about what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. By doing so, you'll be better equipped to make decisions not influenced by external factors.

4. Foster a partnership with your child: 

Continuously work on building a strong relationship with your child, devoid of hidden agendas or empty promises. If you're unable to fulfill a request, explain the reasons behind your decision. By being honest with your child, you minimize the chances of falling victim to manipulation. Children need to feel that they can trust you and confide in you about their desires and intentions.

5. Maintain emotional control: 

Remain calm when communicating with your child, even when they push your buttons and it becomes challenging to keep your composure. This will help discourage child manipulative behavior. If you respond to their actions with anger or frustration instead of providing a clear explanation, it will only strain your relationship. In such situations, your child may become closed off and reluctant to discuss their problems or admit their mistakes. 

Also: How To Calm A Toddler Crying For No Reason: 10 tips

6. Acknowledge your child's right to experience negative emotions: 

Children may express their frustration, cry, or throw tantrums when they don't get what they want. Avoid scolding or punishing them for these emotions. However, it's also important not to give in to their demands. Find a balance between understanding their feelings and setting appropriate boundaries.

If you observe signs that your child is manipulating you, remember that trust is crucial in any relationship. Children often imitate the behavior of adults. If they perceive that you don't trust them, they may respond with distrust and manipulation. Strive to find a compromise and the success of your approach will largely depend on your parenting skills.

For more in-depth guidance on how to deal with a manipulative child, you can read the full article "4 Signs Your Child Is Manipulating You & 6 Ways To Deal With Them." By addressing child manipulative behavior early on, you can foster healthy communication and build a strong parent-child relationship based on trust and respect.