Building a Strong Support System: Why Social Connections Matter for You and Your Kids

Between work, family, and that ever-growing to-do list, it’s easy to let friendships slip through the cracks. But here’s the thing: we all desire to feel supported and understood. The CDC calls this “social connectedness”. Basically, they state that everyone has unique needs and wants when it comes to their relationships, but we all benefit from healthy ones (CDC, 2023).

Sure, friendship takes work. Yet, research shows that solid relationships decrease stress, anxiety, and depression, improve sleep, and promote healthy habits (CDC, 2023). And get this: a sense of connectedness can motivate people to give back, creating a spark of positivity that strengthens communities and triggers positive change. 

Building Your Support System

If all of this has your head spinning, deep breaths! Cultivating a social circle may be easier than you think. Start here:

• Identify your needs: Do you crave friends who share your hobbies or have kids the same age? Or want someone to offer help when it feels like the family van’s wheels are literally falling off? Knowing the types of relationships you hope for is the first step!
• Find diverse connections: Make friends with all kinds of people! Diversity in your circle introduces new ideas and experiences, challenges your thinking, and ultimately helps you to understand yourself and others.
• Embrace small talk: Strike up conversations with your mail carrier, barista, or the other perpetually pajama-clad parent at drop-off. You never know who you could connect with!
• Join in: Look for groups, clubs, local festivals, or exhibits with themes that excite you! Stay open to meeting like-minded people.
• Extend invitations: Be bold! Reach out to friends and acquaintances. Going on a walk in their neighborhood? Invite them to join you!

Encouraging Social Connections for Kids

Making friends as a kid may seem as easy as 1-2-3, but I’ve witnessed friendships that lasted about as long as it took to sing the ABCs.

As adults, it stings to hear about kids’ friendship issues. Luckily, friendship skills are learned! So here are a few ways you can empower your kids to build healthy, happy social connections:

Spend time together: Plan for intentional family meals, open conversations, and shared activities.

Listen up: Ask kids open-ended questions and really listen to their answers. Stumped? Start with the 5 W’s:

• Who did you play with today?
• What did you do today that was creative/challenging/etc.?
• When was the happiest moment of your day?
• Where did you see kindness today?
• Is there a part of the day you would change? If so, why?

Model healthy relationships: Treat everyone with kindness and respect, just like you’d want your kid to do!

Nurture connection: Show (and tell) your child you care by validating their emotions and expressing your love with words, actions, and thoughtful gestures.

Create shared traditions: Establish rituals like movie nights or birthday celebrations and recognize accomplishments, big or small.

Set up playdates: Help your kids practice social skills while making real-world, cognitive connections through creative play with others.

Listen, I know making friends can feel like another thing to juggle but trust me, it’s worth it. Just remember:

• It’s never too late (or too early!) to make friends.
• Prioritizing healthy relationships helps boost your mood, fight off stress, and improve sleep!
• Your kids need your love, guidance, and support, at home and on the playground.

Now, get out there and connect!