9 Things Parents Should Never Say to Their Child

Every parent aspires for their children to lead happy and successful lives. However, not all parents achieve this goal, and there are several factors that contribute to this outcome. One significant factor is adopting incorrect attitudes and exposing children to traumatic events. What things parents should never say to their child, and how can they prevent parenting mistakes from having long-term consequences?

The importance of mindful communication with children

Parents need to realize that the impact of their parenting errors can manifest both immediately and over the long term. The latter can be particularly perilous, as the harmful effects of words and actions might go unnoticed, only to surface in a child's psyche over time. For instance, setting unrealistically high expectations may lead to the child fearing failure and becoming passive, while projecting parental fears onto children can result in heightened anxiety and hostility.

So, what should parents never say to their children? The precise repercussions of parents' actions are unpredictable. A single decision out of many could lead to emotional trauma or the development of complexes. A hurtful word might stand out among countless others spoken in haste. It's that unexpected word from a parent that leaves a lasting mark.

To mitigate the risk of negative consequences, parents should exercise self-control, consistency, and fairness when making decisions related to their children.

Also: How to Deal with Passive Aggressive Parents

9 things parents should never say kids

Let's delve into the statements parents should never say to their child:

1. Imperative requests delivered in a harsh tone

1. "Make the bed right now!"

2. "Close your mouth this instant!"

3. "Come here, I told you!"

Communication at this level can hardly be considered productive or healthy. A child accustomed to such commanding tones may struggle to react appropriately when faced with similar behavior from others, normalizing this manner of communication.

2. Intimidation, even with good intentions

1. "Just wait till your dad gets home; you're in trouble then."

2. "Stay away from the oven or the house will burn down."

3. "If you don't listen to your mother, she'll turn into a bird and fly away."

These words are what parents should never say to their kids, though seemingly innocent, these are stories based on intimidation rather than factual information. Justifying your words, requests, and decisions with clear explanations is far more effective than fabricating fantastical tales.

3. Condemning or ridiculing emotional expression

1. "Stop crying like a little girl."

2. "Pull yourself together!"

3. "Don't wallow in self-pity."

These are definitely phrases parents should avoid. Continuously reprimanding a child for showing emotions could lead to emotional detachment. A child may become unable to express their feelings — both positive and negative. To prevent this outcome, teach emotional intelligence from a young age, fostering the ability to express one's emotions and understand the emotions of others.

4. Conveying how burdensome the child is

1. "You're driving me crazy!"

2. "You're always bothering me with your requests."

3. "Leave me alone, go to your room."

While parental fatigue is understandable, conveying how burdensome the child is can inadvertently make the child feel unwanted. The child might internalize the notion that their presence is a nuisance to their parents. This can result in diminished self-esteem, indecisiveness, and a deep-seated personality crisis.

Even in moments of exhaustion or personal distress, parents should refrain from projecting negativity onto their child.

5. Blame and appeals to duty

1. "I do everything for you."

2. "We bought you an expensive phone, and you don't appreciate it."

3. "Grandma put in effort to bake a pie, so you should eat it."

These are certainly things parents should never say to their child. Using guilt or duty to manipulate a child is unkind, especially because young children are vulnerable to such tactics. Instead of expecting something in return for your efforts, choose to act selflessly. For instance, if your child doesn't like a particular dress, allow them the choice not to wear it.

6. Implying helplessness and dependence

1. "You're too little to handle that."

2. "I'll carry the bag myself; you can't manage it."

3. "At your age, you should sit quietly."

These things parents should never say to their child. Parenting infantile children could inadvertently cultivate dependency. Such children might continue to rely on their parents into adulthood, lacking the skills to be independent, make decisions, and solve problems. Encourage your child to take initiative, be responsible, and contribute to family decisions.

Treat your child as an equal member of the family, respecting their capabilities.

Also: Best Way to Discipline a Child

7. Instilling complexes

1. "Sit still, be quiet, don't draw attention."

2. "Dancing is nonsense; focus on something useful."

3. "You shouldn't aim to be a leader; why bother?"

If a child internalizes a sense of inadequacy, they might believe they lack worth or talents. This self-perception could inhibit them from pursuing their potential. Avoid limiting a child's individuality, allowing them to explore their talents and interests freely.

8. Unfavorable comparisons

1. "Marie is so smart, unlike you."

2. "You're the weakest reader in the class."

3. "Your sibling excels in boxing; why can't you do the same?"

Comparing a child unfavorably with others can easily cross the line into damaging their self-esteem. Recognize that each child develops at their own pace and excels in different areas. Encourage your child to embrace their unique talents and abilities.

9. Increasing tension

1. "If you fail your exams, you'll end up cleaning streets."

2. "Hurry and get dressed, or you'll be expelled from school."

3. "Finish your porridge, or you'll starve."

These statements can induce stress and fear in children, therefore it is what parents should never say to their kids . While not outright lies, they exaggerate the potential outcomes to elicit a reaction. Instead, explain the consequences of actions calmly, without resorting to hyperbole.

If you find that you've used any of these undesirable phrases with your child, it's never too late to make a change. Stop and reassess your communication approach, as it's always better late than never to create a positive environment for your child's growth and development.