What to do when toddlers throw tantrums: Tips For Parents To Stay Calm
3 min readDealing with child tantrums can be challenging, but it's essential to understand how to respond appropriately to each situation. A child with temper tantrums can vary in nature, and parents need to adapt their approach accordingly. Let's explore why children have tantrums and what you can do when your child experiences one.
Understanding of temper tantrums in a child
When your child is having a tantrum, observe their behavior – do they run around or stay in one place, close their eyes (as if trying to shut the world out), hide under a table, or scream? As a parent, consider how you react to a temper tantrum in the child: do you instinctively intervene, or do you suppress your reactions?
A child with temper tantrums often acts intuitively and without social filters, making them more genuine in their emotions. As an adult, here are the tips on how to deal with child tantrums:
- Trust your instincts, but remain safe. If needed, step away to a safe distance, which can subconsciously calm both you and the child without causing fear.
- If you're at home, consider taking the child to another room. A temper tantrum in a child often lessens when there are no "spectators."
- Alternatively, increase the distance by looking away or pretending to do something else. This might discourage the child from continuing the tantrum.
These strategies are helpful for how to control toddlers' tantrums where a child is attempting to get something from you (e.g., refusing to eat, demanding a toy). However, for situations where the child is genuinely upset or frightened, your approach should involve calming them down and addressing the underlying issue.
Handling Manipulative Tantrums
When your child is using tantrums to manipulate you, it's crucial not to negotiate with them. Establish clear boundaries and rules, and avoid giving in to their demands when kids are having a temper tantrum. If the child persists, consider appropriate consequences to discourage such behavior.
Dealing with Situational Tantrums
Situational tantrums occur in specific locations or situations, such as in public places. What to do when your child throws a tantrum in public? To handle these tantrums effectively, follow the instruction:
- Remove the child from the situation to change the scenery, which can divert their attention.
- Stay composed even if you feel anger or frustration.
- Talk to your child about their feelings and show understanding.
- Encourage your child to join you in managing emotions, teaching them self-control.
- Offer alternatives or distractions to shift their focus.
- Ask for their help or involve them in resolving the issue.
- Provide an opportunity for the child to reconcile after the tantrum, promoting a positive approach.
Also: Crying Kids: How To Help A Highly Emotional Child
Addressing Frustration Tantrums
Frustration temper tantrums in children arise due to external irritants and may persist as a defensive reaction to negative factors. To handle such tantrums:
- Identify potential sources of frustration, which could include authoritarian parenting, overprotection, family conflicts, or disregarding the child's wishes and feelings.
- Seek the help of a psychologist if needed to understand and address the underlying issues.
Tailoring Responses for Different Ages
The causes of children having tantrums can vary based on their age. Here are some tips for different age groups on how to deal with a child's tantrums:
Babies
Between six months and a year, the primary reason for a temper tantrum in a child is often the lactation crisis in the mother, especially if she is breastfeeding. The quantity of milk decreases while the baby's need for food increases.
By the age of one, many mothers reduce the number of feedings per day, which can lead to a strong protest and can be the reason why a child is having tantrums. This is the most obvious reason why a one-year-old child may suddenly become hysterical and cry frequently.
Also: How To Calm A Crying Baby: 10 Tips
Consult your pediatrician on how to address the fading lactation function. You will likely receive recommendations for expanding the child's menu. Don't ignore these suggestions, as the nutrients in breast milk might no longer be enough to meet the growing body's needs.
How to handle a child with tantrums in this situation? To stop temper tantrums in infants, comfort them by hugging and reassuring them. Explain that there may not be much milk in your breast anymore, but distract them with delicious porridge, strawberries, or bananas on the table to help soothe them.
Toddlers
When kids have tantrums between the ages of 1 and 2, it's because they have acquired many skills, such as walking, running, playing with toys, and showing interest in cartoons. Their natural curiosity makes them want to explore everything around them, from rattling pots in the kitchen to catching a cat or reaching for items on the table.
How to deal with temper tantrums in toddlers? To avoid tantrums, allow your 2-year-old to satisfy their curiosity by providing safe objects to explore while keeping dangerous items out of reach.
Why do toddlers have tantrums? At the age of 3, children experience a significant crisis characterized by separation from their mothers and a strong desire to assert their independence. Outbursts of anger and self-will become common as they try to claim their rights to independence.
Also: How To Calm A Toddler Crying For No Reason: 10 tips
What to do when toddlers throw tantrums? If your 3-year-old has tantrums for any reason, don't be too quick to seek specialists' help. This phase will pass, lasting several months until your child develops a better understanding of their capabilities.
Preschoolers
By the time a child turns 4, the storm of the three-year crisis of temper tantrums in a child should have subsided, indicating a period of calm ahead. Psychologists don't consider this age interval as a crisis, but the 4-year-old child may still have tantrums for various reasons.
At this stage, children actively socialize, which can bring challenges like adjusting to being part of a group and experiencing conflicts. Moreover, their cerebral cortex development may lead to increased sensitivity and emotions. They feel a need to express their opinions and be heard.
What to do when your child is throwing a tantrum? Parents should avoid considering their 4-year-olds as simple-minded kids, as this could result in protests, ranging from disobedience to aggression. A 5-year-old child can display tantrums for various reasons, much like their younger counterparts.
School-age
The transition to the first grade can be a stressful event for school-age children. They go from days filled with play and leisure to a more structured routine of sitting at a desk and completing schoolwork. It's common for children with temper tantrums when they are first graders to resist going to school, listening to teachers, and doing homework. They may also struggle to interact with classmates and adjust to the new daily routine.
Also: What To Do When Your Child Refuses To Go To School
Teenagers
Dealing with teenage tantrums can be particularly challenging due to the turbulence of adolescence. Teenagers strive to become adults quickly, often displaying protest behavior. Hormonal changes result in sudden mood swings and soul-searching. Even seemingly mature teenagers can still have hysterical outbursts for various reasons, making it difficult to find common ground and compromise with them.
What to do when a kid throws a tantrum? At this stage, parents must offer support and understanding. They should empathize by recalling their own experiences during adolescence and making appropriate adjustments. The transitional period will eventually pass, and their grown-up child will return.
How to calm down a child having a tantrum? Dealing with children's tantrums doesn't come with a one-size-fits-all solution. Understanding the cause and reacting appropriately to each situation is key. Additionally, discussing the incidents and reaching mutual conclusions with your child can lead to a positive resolution. Good luck!
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