Why Does a Child Hit Themselves and How To Stop It

Witnessing a child hitting themselves can be distressing. What does it mean when a child hits himself? What drives this behavior? Let's delve into this challenging topic to better understand it.

Why do children hit themselves

Children's inhibitory and self-control mechanisms develop gradually from birth to around 6-7 years of age. However, even at this stage, the ability to manage emotions remains limited. So, why might a kid hit himself? Children express their emotions differently when faced with rage, annoyance, or resentment. Some may yell, others might collapse on the floor, while others throw toys or objects in their vicinity out of frustration. In some cases, children resort to hitting themselves.

The tendency of a child to hit himself can emerge early on. As children explore the world and discover themselves, they encounter situations where their desires clash with their abilities. When a child cannot obtain a desired toy, irritation builds up, and the urge to express their anger takes over. This may explain why a child hits himself when angry or upset.

Every tantrum has its triggers, and astute parents can often predict their child's response to specific situations. The sequence typically unfolds like this:

Trigger → Tantrum → Self-hitting.

While addressing the trigger can be challenging, it's far more complex to influence the self-harming aspect after a tantrum has already started.

If self-hitting isn't linked to developmental delays or uncontrolled outbursts of aggression, there might be a psychological basis for this behavior. Several reasons could explain why a child hits themselves.

1. Protest

Children raised by authoritarian parents may develop an internal resistance to constant directives. Over time, they may push back against parental authority and seek to assert their autonomy. The intensity of this response varies based on the level of suppression. Self-hitting in such cases could represent a defiant reaction to restrictive parenting, a way to reclaim a sense of control over their own bodies amidst a perceived lack of control over their lives.

2. Guilt

A child's developing nervous system often leads to an exaggerated response to distressing situations. For instance, a broken toy might deeply upset a young child. If they fail to mend the toy, a desire to punish themselves for this perceived failing may drive a child to hit himself.

3. Manipulation

Manipulation can also be behind why a child hits himself. Children might resort to self-inflicted harm as a strategy to get what they want. Remember, every performance has an audience, and a child's actions are often directed towards others' reactions. If a child consistently garners a desired response from their parents through self-hitting, it becomes a means to achieve their goals. In such instances, the child might hit themselves lightly, all while surreptitiously observing their parents' reactions.

While these three scenarios differ, distraction is the universal strategy in all cases. Parents should redirect the child's focus and subsequently discuss the underlying cause. Engaging in open conversations and attempting to understand the motivations can lead to insights and prevent future self-hitting.

Also: What Causes Aggression In A Child And How To Deal With It

5 tips for parents when their child hits themselves

For parents facing a child who hits themselves, there are a few crucial steps to follow:

1. Physical Contact: Engage in physical contact with your child. Hold their hands, preventing aggressive movements, and gently massage their clenched fists with your fingers.

2. Provide Comfort: Offer a reassuring hug. This physical closeness can help foster a sense of security.

3. Calm Communication: Speak in a composed and confident tone, expressing your understanding of their frustration. Let them know you're there and not angry.

4. Offer a Safe Item: Hand them a safe object – a soft toy, a muffin – to divert their attention and quell the tantrum at its onset.

5. Avoid Harsh Reactions: Never resort to shouting or hitting the child, and refrain from involving outsiders to shame the child.

If the tantrum persists, consider taking your child home, allowing them to calm down and rest. Offer them a distraction, such as a cartoon or coloring materials, to prevent overloading their nervous system on that particular day.

Also: 9 Ways How Not To Be A Toxic Parent

How to assist if a child hits themselves on the head

Occasionally, a child who appears to be playing calmly might suddenly begin hitting themselves on the head or banging it against a wall or furniture. What prompts such behavior? Why would a child resort to hitting themselves on the head? There can be various reasons behind this conduct, ranging from commonplace issues like ear infections and teething to more complex neurological problems. Usually, a child hits themselves in the area that's causing discomfort. Commonly, they might strike their head or stomach. The child's aim is often to alleviate the unpleasant sensations, unaware that this behavior could worsen the situation.

If a child hits himself frequently, seek medical evaluation from a pediatrician. A consultation with a neurologist and psychologist might also be necessary to rule out developmental disorders or autism.

Interestingly, children with autism might hit themselves as a means of self-soothing. Rhythmic impacts provide vestibular stimulation, which can help mitigate external stimuli. In simpler terms, these actions allow an autistic child to retreat from a potentially overwhelming environment.

What other factors contribute to a child hitting themselves on the head? Speech developmental disorders could also play a role. If a child struggles to articulate their thoughts, frustration can build. They might direct their anger towards themselves, as they perceive the issue to lie within them. In this scenario, consulting a speech therapist and educational specialist is advised to assess the extent of the disorder and develop a suitable treatment plan.

In cases where no obvious reason exists, and the child hits himself persistently resulting in abrasions or bruises, consult a pediatrician for further investigation and referrals to specialists. It's important to distinguish genuine health issues or developmental delays from behavioral disorders.

Facing a child who hits themselves doesn't have to induce panic; instead, approach the situation with reason and effectiveness. Initiating a thorough examination, seeking guidance from a psychologist, analyzing and improving the emotional climate within the family – these should be your initial steps. Wishing you the best of luck!