3 Ways how to build character in your child

How can you build character in your child? Renowned psychologists and educators have extensively studied the process of character formation of a child. Figures like Freud, K. Jung, A. Adler, A. Beck, N. Lossky, P. Lesgaft, A. Nechaev, and others have described various factors that influence this process.

However, all theoretical frameworks ultimately converge on the idea that a child's character is shaped by three main components: heredity, temperament, and the environment in which parents are growing a child with character. In this article, we will delve into each of these components and explore strategies for building character in your child. Let's begin!

Character Formation of a Child

Modern genetic research has repeatedly debunked the myth that character can be inherited from parents. However, certain personality traits are associated with an individual's genetic makeup. For instance, children may inherit their parents' sociability, affinity for specific activities like traveling or fishing, irritability, and even political preferences.

But here's the question: What influences a character formation of a child more, genetics or upbringing? Interestingly, both factors play a role in almost every aspect of personality. However, while upbringing can shape individual character traits, genetics only interacts with upbringing to exert its influence.

In 2010, scientists studied the "altruism gene" OXTR and its different variations. People carrying two variations of the gene tended to complain about their problems to others. On the other hand, those with the third variation kept their problems to themselves but still complained about life under suitable circumstances. In simpler terms, the OXTR gene determines a person's inclination to whine, and whether this inclination manifests depends on the social environment.

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It's worth noting that upbringing can override genetics when it comes to shaping personality traits. It can amplify or modify these traits, so it's important not to mistake them for negative hereditary traits. Even if such traits exist, they can be corrected through education.

The Relationship Between Character and Temperament in building character in your child

How to build character in your child? Many people often confuse the concepts of "character" and "temperament" or use them interchangeably. According to the conventional definition, temperament is one component of character. It refers to an individual's unique combination of psychodynamic features that determine their behavior.

Both character and temperament are closely tied to a child's physiological characteristics and emotional sphere. Visualizing their interaction would look like this:

Features of the nervous system → Temperament → Character

Physiology primarily influences character, but it does so indirectly, through a complex set of mental properties.

If you wonder at what age a character formation of a child starts, you first need to determine whether their temperament has completely developed.

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Considering a child's temperament is essential when building character in your child. Temperament traits like balance, inertia, mobility, and curiosity are inherent to temperament. However, it's important to understand that certain temperament traits may contribute to the development of specific character traits, but children with the same temperament can still have different characteristics.

For example:

• A choleric child can be both an energetic creator and a neurotic pessimist.
• A sanguine child can be both a curious optimist and a lazy individual.
• A phlegmatic child can be both an enthusiastic explorer and a passive introvert.
• A melancholic child can be both a sensitive romantic and a stubborn cynic.

As the character formation of a child progresses, temperament gradually becomes less visible as a manifestation of personality. It becomes more of a measure of the speed of mental processes. Therefore, assessing an adult solely based on temperament characteristics is difficult, as there are numerous other elements in their character that can either contradict or overshadow their temperament.

3 Ways how to Build Character in Your Child

How to build character in your child? The key aspects of upbringing include personal development, creating optimal conditions for self-discovery, socialization, and instilling moral values. It's important to note that the goal of education is not to change a child's character, but to carefully nurture their individual traits. Going against their interests can hinder their development and impose unnecessary complexities.

During the process of upbringing, parents may notice the emergence of new character traits in their child, both positive and negative. Positive traits open up new horizons for the child, while negative traits present additional challenges for parents. What can be done about unwanted character traits?

• Correct them.
• Soften them.
• Compensate for them.
• Redirect them in the right direction, and so on.

For example, instead of suppressing resentment, it can be compensated for by encouraging friendliness. Unreliability can be mitigated through generosity. Hot tempers can be improved through relaxation techniques and refocusing attention.

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Children not only observe habits and behaviors from adults but also internalize their core values. This process happens naturally, regardless of whether parents consciously prioritize cultural, spiritual, and moral teachings.

Children absorb moral and ethical norms in the background. You can repeat the importance of fairness to a child a hundred times, but if you act unfairly just a few times, your words will lose significance and will have a negative effect on growing a child with character.

If you raise your voice to your parents and then teach your child to respect elders, your teachings will be ineffective. If you pass by a hungry kitten without showing any care and then passionately talk about helping animals, your child won't believe you. If you deceive others and then demand honesty from your child, you won't receive it.

The spiritual and moral aspects of education directly influence the character formation of a child because they serve as the foundation for developing essential qualities of personality.

1. Building Character in a Child Through Play

Children view life as a game, and their cognitive processes are intertwined with play activities. That's why advanced pedagogical methods incorporate game elements into various types of activities such as learning, creativity and building character in your child.

The games children play have a significant impact on the people they become. Games not only develop specific skills but also shape their worldview. How can you build character in your child through play?

Observe your child:

• How do they behave when playing a game?
• Are they an organizer (leader) or a participant (performer)?
• How well do they play the game?
• How quickly do they grasp the rules?
• How long can they sustain their attention during the game?
• How does your child handle failures during the game?
• How do they treat others when they fail?

The choice of games and their behavior within them can provide insights into the direction in which your child's character is developing.

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2. Building character in your child Through Sports

How to build character in your child through sports? Sports have a positive influence on character development. They help cultivate traits like endurance, diligence, the ability to achieve goals, and resilience in the face of defeat.

Choosing the right sport is crucial, taking into account both the child's character and the desired outcome. For example, combat sports may not be suitable for an individualistic and aggressive child, but group activities like football or basketball can teach them the value of teamwork and emotional management.

Consider the following tips for selecting a sport based on your child's nature:

• Extroverted children may benefit from speed and power sports, swimming, short-distance running, skiing, tennis, gymnastics, or snowboarding.
• Introverted children may find cyclic sports like athletics, swimming, cycling, or running more suitable.
• Children with a sensitive temperament may enjoy non-competitive recreational activities such as yoga, fitness, or swimming.
• Energetic children may thrive in movement-related sports like football, skiing, running, sport walking, or athletics.
• Hyperactive children can find their outlet in martial arts such as aikido, karate, or taekwondo.
• Conforming children, who tend to follow the majority opinion, may excel in team competitive sports like football, volleyball, basketball, handball, or hockey.

3. Building character in your child Through Daily Routine

Character formation of a child can be influenced by establishing a structured daily routine. A consistent daily routine plays a vital role in the harmonious development of a child. It helps regulate their rhythm of life and enables them to complete tasks without excessive chaos.

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It's important to understand that a child's character begins to form from birth, so introducing a routine as early as possible is beneficial. By the age of 3, a scheduled life becomes a good habit.

Eating, sleeping, engaging in developmental activities, playing games, going for walks, and following hygiene procedures should all occur with a certain regularity. By maintaining the routine, you will start to notice positive changes in growing your child with character. They will become more balanced, cheerful, well put-together, focused, and their attention spans will improve.

Gradually, your child's biorhythms will align with the routine, reducing instances of morning tantrums, post-nap crying, and lack of appetite. When transitioning to a new routine due to starting kindergarten or school, allow a few weeks for adaptation.

As the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus wisely stated, "Character determines a man's destiny." Such a simple truth prompts us to reflect on whether we devote enough attention to analyzing our children's character. If their future truly depends on it, it is worth gaining a deeper understanding of the factors that influence their character and how to effectively shape it. We hope that this article has provided valuable insights into building character in your child.